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Preventing Child Sexual Abuse

We can create a world where sexual harm does not impact children by taking a few important steps ourselves and encouraging those around us to do the same. Here are the foundations of preventing child sexual abuse.

Communication

• Maintain open lines of communication and encourage children to come to them at any time with concerns about others’ behavior, feelings of discomfort or sexual abuse.
• Keep conversations honest, respectful and developmentally appropriate.
• Adults must believe children.

Teaching about healthy sexuality

• Understand age-appropriate sexual behaviors and communicate them to your children throughout their childhood.
• Use the proper terms for all body parts, including genitals, throughout a child’s life.
• Make moments teachable throughout childhood. Refer back to this foundational information about healthy sexuality often, directly and when specific questions arise.

Consistency with rules and boundaries

• Teach your children about boundaries, privacy and consent, and ensure that everyone who cares for your child is aware of and agrees to abide by your family rules.  
• Teach all adults who interact with your children about the rules and boundaries you have set for your children and family and let them know that you’ll speak up if you have concerns about boundary violations.
• When adults are consistent in setting rules and boundaries for children, this helps everyone, including adults and kids, know what to expect and anticipate what’s coming next. This consistency keeps all adults in a child’s life accountable. It provides safety and comfort to children that are vulnerable to abuse. It also signals to anyone who might cause your child harm that you are paying attention and leaving no room for inappropriate behavior.

Online rules and boundaries

It’s essential for parents and caregivers to have regular prevention conversations at an age-appropriate level with their children. Professionals can play a role in this by helping parents keep this in mind.

Observe, intervene and speak up

• Take the time to plan for safety, talk and listen, and voice your concerns.
• Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions or intervene in situations that “don’t feel right.”
• Ask questions of your child’s daycare, school, and recreational activities. Every organization that cares for your child should have policies to prevent abuse, including background and reference checks for staff members, professional training for preventing sexual abuse, and rules regarding unsupervised or one-on-one time between adults and children. 

Remember: you are your child’s ultimate role model.

Show your child that these rules apply to everyone! And trust your instincts. It is never easy to report abuse, especially if it is someone you know. But remember—it is our responsibility as adults to speak up and stop abuse.

Internet Safety

Child sexual abuse happens online, too. As adults, we can prevent abuse by staying informed about children’s online activities and maintaining open communication.

Prevent online abuse

Preventing child sexual abuse begins with open communication, and the same is true when it comes to talking about internet safety. Ensure that your children know that they can come to you if anything makes them uncomfortable. Other ways to prevent online abuse include:

• Over many months, use small doses of open and direct communication about online safety. 
• Demonstrate interest in your child’s online activity by using the internet with them and be aware of who they talk to online. Be their Facebook friend and follow them on Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. 
• Have plenty of unplugged family and social time.
• Use privacy settings and parent controls. Set rules and limits for when and how long kids can be online and consider posting the rules or a pledge by the family computer. Be aware that restriction will increase curiosity.
• Do not post nude or partially nude pictures of any children online, including your own.

Recognize warning signs of online abuse

Abuse most often starts with a series of manipulative behaviors that escalate over time. Warning signs of potential abuse can include:

• Sudden excessive amount of screen time that is not typical
• Extreme emotions related to devices or particular aspects of internet use
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Minimizing screen or turning off monitor when others enter the room
• Communicating with or receiving gifts in mail from unknown persons
• Children having private passwords

Internet safety reporting, resources & training

Online safety violations should always be reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s National CyberTipline: 1-800-843-5678 (answered 24/7) or report.cybertip.org

Internet Safety Resources for Parents, Caregivers, Professionals and Youth

• Netsmartz: From the National Center from Missing and Exploited Children, this provides resources for those who have been affected by online abuse and various educational materials about the different environments in which abuse can occur
• Thorn.org: This non-profit creates tools to educate and support parents and youth about online abuse. They also do incredible research about youth’s online behavior and the prevalence of certain kinds of abuse.
• CISA: Chatting with Kids Booklet: A booklet designed to help guardians speak to their young kids, tweens, and teens about being safe online.
• Family Online Safety Institute: Provides internet safety resources for parents and professionals
• www.webwise.ie: Promotes the autonomous, effective, and safer use of the internet by young people through a sustained information and awareness strategy targeting parents, teachers, and children themselves with consistent and relevant messages.

Report child abuse at 877.244.0864 or call 911 if the child is in danger.