Posted on January 04, 2023
You set your alarm for 6:00 pm instead of 6:00 am, only to wake up and discover it is 7:15 am. Letting the dogs out, you trip and stub your toe. Then that tall coffee with cream that you so desperately needed gets knocked over, spilling all over your clothes. You rush to change when your daughter comes in and “reminds” you that she needs to bring a science project to school.
You manage to pull it all together and get her to school on time. But now, traffic is backed up.
You glance in your rear-view mirror to see the driver behind you focused on their phone, not realizing traffic has stopped. He slams on his breaks just in time to avoid an accident. You think back to a similar time when you were not so lucky and were seriously hurt. Finally, you pull into the parking lot and step out of your car into a giant puddle. You slog your way to your desk and open your calendar only to discover you have a meeting in 15 minutes. You’re sweating, shaking and your frustration level is off the charts.
We have all had days like this—or something very similar. Before you head off to your meeting, you have two choices: take your chances and go as you are (emotionally dysregulated) or think of our co-workers and ourselves, pause and self-regulate.
Self-regulation, according to psychologist Albert Bandura, is a continuously active process in which we:
During our TIO training we discussed the Four Rs:
The federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) writes:
“A program, organization, or system that is trauma-informed realizes the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery; recognizes the signs and symptoms of trauma in clients, families, staff, and others involved with the system; and responds by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, and practices, and seeks to actively resist re-traumatization.”
When we can manage our own reactions or emotions about a situation, we are better prepared to help others navigate their journeys, as well. At the organizational level this can mean ensuring we wait to send that email, resisting the urge to gossip with a colleague or showing up to meetings regulated and ready for conversation.
An individual can achieve self-regulation, but it takes self-reflection, commitment and practice. Our personal and work lives can be stressful, so it is essential to practice self-regulation strategies regularly to be able to use them effectively during stressful or difficult situations.
A strategy that works for one person may not work for another. It is also important to note that based on the situation, the environment, internal body systems, etc., a self-regulation strategy that worked yesterday may not work today. It is important for everyone to have a variety of self-regulation tools available to use.
Sioux Falls resources:
Resources for all: